J.T.’s Birthday…

J.T.’s birthday is the 29th.  I have totally not been with it.  But, well, that is to be expected.  I promised him a 1st birthday party and well, he is going to get it.  I got balloons, we are doing a release. And for all of those enviromentally conscience people’s out there.. I got the ones that are biodegradeable.   And we are going to attach wishes to them.  I got him his 1st birthday balloon and it is too adorable.  I am having a horrible time finding a pinwheel. Because I was going to attach his mylar to the pinwheel at his grave.  I might have to go with something else.   Not sure what though.   I am just all in a titter about it.  I want it to go perfect but, well, what ever does?? Seriously, something always has a snag or two in it that is what makes it fun or frustrating depending on the way that you look at it. 

I am only inviting Stacy’s family to it.  This is our time.  We are spending it with just us.  I am being selfish yes because well, I feel we are the only ones that deserve to be there.  I am sorry if that is coming off harsh but, well, I really don’t mean it to be.  We are there out of love, not pity or guilt.  And that is the way I would like to keep it.   Please no one yell at me for that statement.   I really am beginning to realize that Stacy and I were the only ones going and visiting because well, God knew that we would give our undivided attention and love to him.  We were there for him not for show or because of duty.  Not discounting the nurses that were there and loved him like their own.  But, we sacrifice family and other things to be with him.  Which is how it should be.  I am his mother and well, I should have been up there and I was.  Stacy was a friend, she sacrificed her family time and she could have been doing other things but, she chose to be up there and was strong for me when I needed her to be and she knew without hesitation when those times were. 

It is funny well, not funny but, you’ll understand what I mean in a minute.  Looking back and talking with each other how there were times when I was freakin out so to speak and she acted like there was nothing wrong that everything was going to be ok.  And NOW!!! j/k I find out that she was just as scared as I was.  She hid it very well.   We talk about Johnathan all the time and I absolutely love her for it.  Because without her I wouldn’t have anyone to talk to about him.  She was there she remembers she went through it all with me and him and She is just the bestest friend a person could ever ask for. 

LuLu a PCA at children’s who loved Johnathan as much as we did, told me as we were leaving that last day.  She hugged me and she said don’t get rid of that one right there.  Keep her close because you’ll never find another like her.  Those are the truest words I have ever heard.   Did I ever tell you thank you Stacey??? If I haven’t Thank you so much for being the greatest friend a person can have.  Shaun stop laughing at me!!!!!!

Johnathan Thomas Michael Poling

08-29-06

Weight 1lb 15.5 ounces

13 1/4 inches long. 

Left this earth for his heavenly home 05-17-07 weighing:  14lbs 8 oz and 26 1/2 inches long. 

 I love you and miss you so much Bubbas, if you are looking down here be ready to party Wednesday because we are going to rock that cemetary lol….. 

 If any of you would like to make a wish.  Just leave it here and I will be sure to include it in with mine.   And if you don’t want to that is ok too.  

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6 Responses

  1. I just wanted to wish you a wonderful day on your sweet baby’s birthday. The 29th is also my Dh’s birthday. I will be praying for you and Stacy tomorrow.

  2. I’ll be praying for you tomorrow! May you find perfection in your time celebrating JT!

    I’ll bake a birthday cake and we’ll celebrate at our house too. HUGS!

  3. ((hugs))

  4. I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers today and always.

    J.T. I am sorry we did not get to meet but please know that I thought of you daily and we will be releasing sending you belated birthday balloons tomorrow.

  5. I missed this! Happy birthday JT… you touched our hearts more than you could know. Enjoy your time up there with Jesus, little one, and ask Him to send an angel down to hug your mama for us, OK?

  6. “I missed this! Happy birthday JT… you touched our hearts more than you could know. Enjoy your time up there with Jesus, little one, and ask Him to send an angel down to hug your mama for us, OK?”
    Comment by sumijoti 08.30.07 @ 4:13 am

    AMEN and AMEN!

    I’ve just now read this entry. Please know that you are often in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that your party was a rouser! I’m sure that Jesus and JT were dancing with you in Heaven!! 😆

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