Keeping him running…

I am such a bad bad step mom. lol. Everyone is gone but me and Timmy. Harley and Stacey and Mikayla are with Mike getting new shoes. Ashley is at a friend’s house. So, I have been sitting here at the computer just playing. It is so nice and quiet here.

The bad part is just when Timmy gets to a part in his game where he can win, I say hey Timmy, go get me… I mean half the stuff I don’t need but, it is fun. Because he forgets to pause it and just jumps up to do what I tell him to. So, then he has to go do it again. Sorry, I may be the only one to find humor in this, but, well, I need comic relief and he is giving it to me. I guess we can put this down to learning a lesson. Remember to pause game before jumping up. And he won’t even think to ask me if he can finish it first.

I am cracking up and he keeps trying to figure out why. He is just hilarious today. And I have missed him so, I HAVE to pick on him.

We are going full force with the laundry today. I have had some visitors for the past 3 weeks and they FINALLY left today. I was so happy to see them go. A few days is no problem but, when it turns into weeks, well, I just don’t like my space messed with for that long. So, we are catching up on the laundry. I figured we are past Mt. Washmore and have grown to Mt. Takeoverthehouse. But, by tonight it should be all done.

My Aunt, my crazy one,(and I mean that with love), is thinking of coming down within the next couple of weeks, the girls want haircuts and I trust her to give them what they want. And I am thinking of cutting my completly off well, completely to me is to my shoulders. Or maybe a little higher. Not sure yet,and I only trust her to do my hair. She is a licensed barber. Yep, you read that right. No beautician for her. Her lifelong dream was to have a barber shop with a barber pole and that she did. She no longer does but, well, she did that is what counts. She set a goal and accomplished it.

I am not sure how I feel about her visiting because well, she is crazy. She has been off of drugs for about 2 maybe 2 1/2 years. And while I am extremely happy for her I don’t know how to take her because I have only known the drug addict Aunt. This new, goes to church, believes in God, apologetic Aunt is not something that I am used to dealing with and for some reason, I am not ready to let all the stuff that she did to me or said to me go. Now, I know I should but that was 30 years of not so niceness. I am trying though and praying about it so, hopefully I can come to a spot where I look at her and just see her and not everything else. I don’t know. It kinda scares me too. What if I get used to this new Aunt and she heads right back to the drugs? Then I am out of an Aunt again. And let me say this she is like my mother, she took care of me more than my mother did and I lived with her longer than I lived with my mom. So, I don’t think of her as just my Aunt. I think of her as my mom. So, I guess all in all I don’t want to be let down. I want her to be to me sometimes the mom that neither she nor my mom where. Not discounting that we were always provided for, I just want the emotional part of it. I never had that and well, it would be nice to have that once in a while.

Well, enough of me. Everyone have a great and blessed day!!!!!!!

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Waiting waiting waiting

I really don’t like waiting. You waste time that way. We have been waiting forever for this nut and candy shipment to the school and it is really beginning to really get annoying. I mean come on it is over a week late and people are starting to get really angry about it. Which I don’t blame them. I feel the same way. It was promised the week of the 17th and we all know that is come and gone. It was promised yesterday but, it somehow didn’t get loaded onto the truck. We even told them that we would be able to be in the building until 7. Nope still nothing. So, the expected time is today between 12 and 2. I told them to call me when it came in and then I would be up there. I am totally not wasting my time again. All day we waited yesterday and nothing. I guess this should teach me patience but, not really, when you say you are going to have something done then it should be done. Especially if you are running a business. It shows bad business skills and I don’t relly foresee them getting anymore of our business. It is a shame really because we have been working with this guy for years at the school and he decided to go with a different company and well, nothing is working. But, when you have angry parents you have to make some harsh decisions. and I think our decision is going to be to not go with him again. I really think that is what way most of us Boosters are leaning. It has been a really stressful sale and not from our end. We are very organized and got everything in and on time. This is from his end. So, he really needs to clean it up.
Did I ever mention that I am really not into the Booster thing this year? I am on the fence about it. I used to enjoy it but here lately not so much and it isn’t the complaining from the sale and things not here on time. I can handle that no big deal. It just doesn’t feel right this year. We talked about unity and sticking together and communication and you know, I really don’t see that. But, hey that is just me. I probably just have other issues going on. Ok, ha ha we all know I am full of issues. lol.

Well, there is my gripe for the day. lol Sorry you had to listen to it. uh err read it.

Added a song.

I absolutely love this song. I “borrowed” it from a friends blog. I hope she doesn’t mind. I would just have her page up all day and listen to it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.

I haven’t really done much lately, I have been just being. I guess. With the Arts and crafts night over, there really isn’t much to do school wise. So, I have stayed home. Not really much to do here either.

We had a storm last night and it blew out the pilot light to our water heater, so, no hot water. No big deal really as soon as my hubby gets home he will light it. It also knocked out the antenae for the tv no big deal there either, but, hey it is for some people. lol.

Well, that is it for now hope everyone doing well. Have a great day!!

what is your pirate name

My pirate name is:
Red Bess Rackham

Passion is a big part of your life, which makes sense for a pirate. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

OH my gooshness!!!

I have been so busy lately, I have no idea sometimes whether I am coming or going.   Next week, it will slow down as I only have two outside the home things to do.

 The neighbor will be taking the girls to school and picking them up so, I don’t even have to go out of the house for that.   Yippee!!!  I am so happy about that. 

I have Arts and Crafts night tonight at school.  I have it organized so that all the supplies for each craft are in a baggie and the child just has to pick up a baggie and get to it.  I wanted to keep cutting to a minimum, but, that left me with cutting.  My hands are so sore from it. I assembled some examples, that was fun.  I went and did all the shopping for the supplies, that was fun also.  I love spending other people’s money.  lol. 

I hope tonight goes well, we are having refreshments and raffle prizes also.  Everything is free.  You get a raffle ticket when you walk in the door.  Everyone does even the babies.   We like to keep family nights free.  This is a time when you can come to school and have fun and it is free and you get to spend time with your family and check out the school also and see your teachers in a different environment not the official school environment per se.   I enjoy doing things like this and organizing it.   I absolutely love it.  I try to hide it but, I can’t lie I love it. 

Well, there is my update.  Ihope I get to update more It seems here lately I don’t have time for the computer as much as I would like. But, hopefully next week I will.  he he. 

more entries from xanga

Sunday, June 17, 2007

JT outside (montage)

Here is a link to a new montage.   It has music.  It is pics of all of us when we took him outside. 

http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=2f4ba792575307dc17d6ee&skin_id=0&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url

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Thursday, June 14, 2007

Crazy Dreams.

I have been having some weird whacky dreams.   All about being pregnant.  I blame it on someone whom we are waiting to have a baby.   Woman have that little man so these will stop.  lol.  

They are about me having a baby.  I was in the NICU arguing with my Retta.  She was telling me that I needed to go love my baby and hold him and let him know that I am here.  I told her NOPE, not gonna do it.  I told her to take him.  She doesn’t have any kids and she would take great care of him.  She told me no I am Aunt Retta.   Not Momma Retta.  I argued with her and told her I can’t and will not under no circumstances love another baby.  I didn’t want another baby and wasn’t having that one.  She could put it back.  My whole dream was Retta arguing with me.  I remember her jerking my face up and telling me that I was going to be this baby’s mother and there was nothing that I could do about it.  I will go over there and hold him and she plopped him in my arms.  All I could see was eye lashes and thought how much they reminded me of JT’s long and curly.  Then she told me she was going to go get the buggy and we were going home.  Then I woke up. 

Bobbie is having no more babies.  I don’t want anymore and I am not let me repeat not pregnant.  Good now that we have that cleared up.  lol

I am writing a book about my NICU experience.  Retta thought that I should.  I am starting at the beginning, with my pregnancy.  I have journals full of how I was feeling and what was going on.   I love to write.  I wasn’t going to do it but, I thought why not. I started writing and couldn’t stop.  Now, whether it ever comes into print is another thing.  But, it will be a great tool to me.  I have wonderful memories and reading them and knowing what all we have survived and been through and the heartbreak, and the joyous moments.  I see where I have grown in the Lord.  I put all of my faith and trust in him.   He did what was right and He did it beautifully.  I couldn’t have asked for more.  That sounds like a weird sentence doesn’t it?    I would explain but,  I have no words for that.  The people that were there know and he sent us everyone that we needed to get through this.  And we are getting through it.  Good Days Bad Days Extremely Hard Days.  But, we are getting through it.  

I promise my next blog entry I will write about something else because I know everyone is sick of hearing about me and JT.  I shove it down people’s throats and I don’t mean to.  But, I think that is my way of keeping his memory alive for me. 

March of Dimes

I am starting early on the March of Dimes Walk.  I am designing T=shirts and we will be raising funds through out the whole school year.  So, if anyone would like to walk with us and help raise that would be great.  You will get a t-shirt with JT’s photo on it.  Great incentive.  At least I think so.  I have been looking through the SHARE community on the March of Dimes web site and have came up with some really good ideas.  Now, to make them I am sure that I can.  I just have to put my mind to it. 

Well, that is all from me today.  My kids are moving around upstairs and I know little miss crazy woman known as Mikayla will be down here in a minute going Eat mommy Eat.  

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Saturday, June 09, 2007

Putting it all together

Well, it has been a few days.  My lovely children spilled something on my keyboard and killed it.  I was pushing stuff and 3 or 4 letters and numbers were showing up.  I finally convinced my husband to go buy another one.  I mean it is only our 3 one in 2 weeks.  What is the problem?  lol. 

I have to tell a story.  So, here it is.

I was driving around the cemetary about  a week and a half ago and I noticed this grave marker.  It looked really big and by golly, I recognized the name on it.  When I was 15 – 18 I had volunteers that came and did things with me.  Their names were Jean and Howard.  They were the cutest older couple.  They wore matching clothes and they just loved each other.  They grew to love me also. I became a part of their family.  It was nice to be wanted because back then, nobody did.  I had lost touch with them over the years.  I knew Howard had passed away, but, I didn’t know where he was buried and I stumbled upon it.  I really think it was shining bright because there was a reason I needed to find it.  That day I was really down because I didn’t have any family in that cemetary, and I was upset because JT was by himself with no family.  I tell you the Howard’s headstone looked 20 feet high.  Seriously, I can’t explain it.  It looked really big. At least as tall as me.  I got out, and even walked up there and payed my respects and talked to him awhile and explained why I was there.  It really is comforting to sit in a cemetary and just talk.  Then, I left.  I was going to go visit Jean sometime that week.  I didn’t get around to it until Sunday and well, Sunday she wasn’t home all day.  So, Thurday, when we went to go pick out JT’s headstone, which is going to be beautiful, let me add that.  Timmy and Stacey and I decided to go and visit JT and then I went to show them Howard’s grave. 

Well….. his headstone is not as big as I thought it was the first time I seen it.  It only comes up to my hip.  Why did it seem so big to begin with?  I think I needed comforted and someone showed me the way.  WE all know who that was.  lol. 

We went right that second to Jean’s house.  She was home and I told her all about JT and she told me all about Howard and how lonely she has been feeling.  He has been gone for 4 years now, and she still feels like he is going to be coming home.  They had been married for 53 years.  Can you believe that?  How awesome. We talked and she had some great words of comfort to give me and I her.  She also, would like for me to drop the kids by and for me to just take some me time.  Whether that be go to the cemetary or to just go do something for myself.  She said she would enjoy it so much.  She loves kids and they wouldn’t be a problem.  I am going to start visiting her once a week from now on.  We already set it up.  I think this will help both of us. 

There are lights shining all around me to help me with my grief, I just need to look up and stop walking with my head down and worrying that people can’t handle it and just open up.  I have been trying to do this.

She is also going to help me with praying in front of people.  She has the same problem.  She is afraid that she would say the wrong thing or not have anything to say.  She also said that she went to bible study at a couples house that I met through them for 34 years and never once did she pray out loud, but, she is going to help me and help herself in the process.  She is such a great woman, I don’t understand how I lost contact with them. 

Well, there is my story.  I hope you enjoyed it. 

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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Ground hog day

Well, I am cleaning again today.  Because yesterday, I was interupted because my 2 year old decided to take some of my daughter’s friend’s ADHD and Bi-polar mediacation.  She took two of them.  There was 4 in the pill holder.  I fished the lithium out of her mouth thank you Jesus. 

I rushed her to the ER and they gave her charcoal through an NG tube.  They were trying to explain to me what an NG was.  ha ha.  JT had one of those and I also put them in frequently.  I almost grabbed it from her and put it in myself.  She slept for 6 hours.  They were going to keep her but, she woke up and was her usual ornery self.  She tried to stab Timmy with her SAT probe.  So, she was fine.  They just watched vitals for an hour and sent us on our way.  I was so scared.  I kept thinking oh my goodness, I can’t do this again.  I can’t watch my baby die.  You should never have to do that.  Then, I mentally smacked myself in my head and started praying.  I held her hand and prayed for all I was worth.  I didn’t bargain, I didn’t plead, I just asked.  Then, I told God, this is in your hands, You have control over this situation.  Nothing I do will fix this.   After 6 hours of praying, She woke up ornery and crazy. 

Prayer was going to be my subject for today.  I really have a lot to say about it.  This was just another prayer answered. 

Prayer is our connection with God just like the Bible.  This is the time that we talk with him and tell him our fears and joys and ask for healing or for comfort or for the affairs of the world.  We ask for protection of those around us. 

I talk to God like I would a father.  That is what he is.  But, I never had one on this earth.  Well, of course I did but, he didn’t and still doesn’t take an active part in my life.  I started about 9 I would talk to God.  My Grandmother thought I was crazy and talking to myself.  But, alot of things had happened to me in my life at the point and I needed comfort and I turned to god. 

I have a hard time praying in public.  It is not something that I can do.  I take prayer personally and it is something that is between God and me.  There is a verse in the Bible  it talks about not boastful and take your prayers to your prayer closet and I think that I have just taken that to heart. 

I found the verse: 

Matthew 6:6 (New International Version)

 

6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

In the KJV it is prayer closet. 

But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly

I only used KJV until I stumbled upon NIV. 

I need to work on praying outloud.  I have a hard time talking in front of people.  And prayer is so personal for me that it would be too hard to do, but, I am going to work on it.  Maybe this Thanksgiving I will be able to do the prayer for Thanksgiving dinner. 

But, this is something I feel I really need to work on. 

JT taught me so many things.  He had so much courage.  I wish I had half of what he had.  He was a miracle.  I know his courage came from all the prayers we had going for him.  We had people as far as Australia praying for him.  And as high up as Canada.   And everywhere in between.  You wouldn’t believe the e-mails I recieved.  From the 17th to the 19th I had over 217 e-mails and these came from all over the US and beyond.  It was amazing to see how many people he touched.  This one little child.  And they were all united in one way.  They were praying.  Praying for JT.  A few people told me that people that had never prayed had prayed for JT and brought about a relationship with God.  How amazing is that?  Just awesome I tell you. 

Remember the baby?  The one sent to save us?  Jesus Christ.  With him we can do anything.  You just have to accept him as your saviour.  Let him come into your heart and let him start working. He’ll help you and show you the way.   He hears your prayers.  He even hears prayers you can’t put words too. Your spirit calls out to him and will connect you with him.   It is the most amazing relationship you will ever had. 

Ok, I’ll get off of my soap box.  Nothing here probably makes sense to anyone but, these are my thoughts. 

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Monday, June 04, 2007

Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning

Cleaning.  Today, I am working on cleaning.  The house.  But, it got me to thinking how I need to clean up my life also.   JT has been gone for 18 days now.  For the past 9 months, I have not been a productive member of my family.  They have gotten into their own routines, ones that I have not been a part of,  different rules.  None of which I know.  My whole life was centered around Johnathan and caring for him and learning all about his illnesses and surgeries and care and weekends were spent with him.   I just wasn’t here.   Now, I have to learn how to be home and with my family and where my place is and how to fit . 

I know I am the mother, but, I honestly haven’t been here.  Even if I was home, my heart and mind was still at the hospital.  I was always worried that his diaper was wet and noone hand changed it or, what if he is crying and no one hears him.  I leaned on God alot which is what you are supposed to do to make sure his needs were met when I wasn’t there.  But, I am a mother so, I worried about him even so.

I would just plain miss holding him and looking at him. 

I miss holding him looking at him, smelling him, changing his ostomy and emptying it, giving him baths, taking his temp and BP and playing with him and asking him yes and no questions to see how he would answer.  I called him my magic 8 ball baby.  He was so smart and observive (is that a word?).   He loved being around people and he loved people talking to him.  

My heart is just so broken right now.  And it always will be.  I know we will be together again.  All of us as a family.  When we meet in heaven it will be the most glorious time.  I will meet him and our saviour Jesus Christ and God.  I couldn’t think of 3 people I would want to see more.   I mean come on now, Jesus, the man who died for our sins.  Who took all of our sins on his shoulders.  Shed his blood for us.  What a priviledge it will be.   God, creator of all, loving, caring, disciplinarian when he has to be but, in a kind loving way.   Johnathan my son, my only son born of me.  

I prayed so hard for a son when I was pregnant with JT.  I had 4 girls, so, I though a boy would be nice.  Ya know.  He answered that prayer.  I prayed for him to survive that 1 night.  The docs didn’t give him 24 hours, he did.  Everything that I prayed for was answered.

My prayer for him to go home that was answered.  Just it wasn’t to my home.  It was to the Lord’s home. Which is now JT’s home. 

A couple days before JT passed away, I said a prayer for God to just end his suffering to heal him and take him home.  I could just look into JT’s eyes and see the pain he was in.  But, smiling he was as he always was.  I said God, if it is your will that you take JT to heaven with you, please just end his suffering.  Just don’t let him go alone and give us time with him to tell him we love him and that we always will.  That prayer was answered.  

I prayed that prayer because I knew at the time that the time was near.   You can just feel it sometimes and I knew.  I prayed that prayer on a Tues night and Wednesday, JT went into septic shock.  I spent the last night with him and everyone else came up Thursday and spent the day with him.  We rocked him, kissed him, hugged him, told him how much we loved him and always would.  Told him to stop fighting.  He tried not to.   Then at 5:15p.m.  My baby left this world with a smile on  his face.   You could tell the moment because it was like someone grabbed his hand and he felt the love and warmth.  and it was just beautiful.   Knowing that my son, had met Jesus.  He is watching over us, eating chocolate and free from all the pain and procedures and iv’s and oxygen and blood and medicines.  That is what I wanted for him.  To be healed and that prayer was answered. 

More on prayer later.  This really got long.  lol.

 

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah

Well, this has been one tough week.  I don’t know why but, everything is aggitating me.  I think that everything is just getting to me.   So, I am going to have the hubby watch the kids and go relax.  How do I do that though?  hmmm…….  Good question. Any Ideas?  I am plum out.  lol.

Potty training is stressful because little crazy girl has to go all of the time.  She has to wash her hands before and after and brush her teeth.  So between all of that and trying to get the stuff at home done and the stuff at school and still find time to spend with my children and getting up to see Johnathan I am just not fairing to well. But, I just pray about it and The Lord sees me through everyday. I wouldn’t have made it this far without him. 

Well,that is all for today.  Really I am going to get this blogging thing down yet.   lol.

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

It has taken me forever to figure out how to make another entry.  I just wasn’t looking in the right place.  lol.  

Well, Johnathan is back in Dayton.   I am glad but, sad at the same time.  I am happy that he is closer, but, sad that I don’t get to be there with him all the time and take care of him and be his mom.  He is back in the NICU and I know he is missing his tv. He loves Fox News.  Really, he does.  Weird for a 6 month old.  And I know he is going to miss his Temptations.  I think I am going to take him a cd player up there so that he can hear them every now and then. 

Tomorrow, he will be getting dedicated.  I am so happy.  I have been wishing for this to happen and with him being in the hospital and not able to go to church, I couldn’t see how this would happen.  But, my church just stepped right up and said we will come to you.  Isn’t that awesome??? Yes, Awesome is my new word.  It explains things that I think are more than fantabulous. 

My girls are with their dad right now,   I only have Mikayla at home.  She is my 2 year old.  She is so neat.  And has a mind of her own.   It is so weird going from 4 kids to just one.  I have had my girls with me all of their lives and have been the only one to take care of them.  Their dad hasn’t been a steady presence in their lives.  He wants to be more involved now and I am giving him the opportunity because well, they need their dad.  I pray that he doesn’t mess up and break their hearts.

Well, I have to start my day.   Toodles. 

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Monday, March 05, 2007

new one

Well, this is my first attempt at this.  With the boards closing everyone is starting a blog at various different places and I am see which ones are user friendly.   So here is this one. 

Jinkies I really wrote alot at Xanga, there will be more. lol

Friday, June 29, 2007

I just wanted to write down the lyrics to the song we played at JT’s funeral.  It says alot to me.  We love the Temptations here and this is the song that Smokey wrote for Blue or Melvin Franklin the bass singer when he passed away.  It just seemed to fit.   We also played this for him when we knew he was gone.   We played all the temptations songs during the time when we were saying good bye.  He loves them and I know it helped calm him.  He loved rockin out to them.  lol. 

So, I am not a lyrics writer so, I tried to do it in some sort a way to look like song verses but, you know I am not good at that.  

Here they are:

REALLY GONNA MISS YOU

SMOKEY ROBINSON

REALLY GONNA MISS YOU

IT’S REALLY GONNA BE DIFFERENT

WITHOUT YOU

TIME IS GOING TO BE

HARD AND SLOW

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

GONNA BE THINKING ABOUT YOU

YES I AM

TIME CAME WHEN YOU HAD TO GO

I’LL MISS YOU MY BUDDY

I’LL MISS YOU MY FRIEND

I PROMISE MY LOVE FOR YOU

WILL NEVER END

IN YOUR FINEST HOUR

I WAS THERE WITH YOU

AND WITHOUT YOU THINGS

WON’T BE THE SAME

BUT THERE’S A HIGHER POWER

THAT WE ANSWER TO AND YOU HEARD

HIM CALL YOUR NAME

REALLY GONNA MISS YOU

EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU

YOUR SMILIN FACE   YEESSSSS

I KNOW YOU WANT US ALL TO BE

STRONG

REALLY GONNA MISS YOU

I KNOW YOU’VE GONE TO THAT

MAGIC PLACE.   OH  YEAAHHHH

SINGING YOU A BRAND NEW SONG

I’LL MISS YOU MY BUDDY

I’LL MISS YOU MY FRIEND

I PROMISE MY LOVE FOR YOU

WILL NEVER END

REPEAT X’S 2

REALLY GONNA MISS YOOOOUUUUUUU

 

 

Anyone who knows me knows that JT was my buddy my friend my bubba my love.  He was a wonderful son and this says so much.  And yes, my love for him will never end.  

So, do you have a song that has special meaning to you?  It doesn’t have to be deep or anything.  Just some song that touches you for no reason at all even?

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Monday, June 25, 2007

New washer and dryer

Ok, I have this new washer and dryer for about oh 5 days.  Can I tell you I absolutely love it?  Seriously, it can wash 14 pairs of jeans.  And let me tell you we fit 17 pairs in there.  Ok, a few of them were Mikayla’s so, I guess they all count as one.  But, really and they dried so quickly.   I was amazed.  So, then, I tried our comforters.  Oh yeah, a queen size and a twin fit in there and still had some room.   I absolutely love it.  So, all that laundry that I have had backed up for oh say the last 10 months is almost completely done and that is with me only doing 4 loads a day.  I have two loads left.    I am so happy.  I thought I would never get done with the stuff. 

Ok, a little background the washer and dryer that we had was about 15 years old.  uh huh ancient.  Well, the washer decided it was done washing. It stopped full load of laundry full of water.  I was in a panic.  So, I just prayed about it and calmed down and went and told the hubby and guess what????   New washer and dryer. 

You don’t even know how badly we needed one of these big ones.  The laundry my kids can go through is outrageous.  I mean my hubby alone goes through two outfits a day.  Work clothes, home shower home clothes.  And the towels.  My goodness.  You just can’t even imagine. 

I am working on either an electric skillet or a kitchen aid mixer next.  I know in my dreams.  But, it is good to have a wish list and something to look forward to even if you know that it isn’t going to happen but, there is always that hope.  Right???  Someone agree with me here.  lol.

You know you are a mom when you call up your best friend and tell her she has to come over and see your new washer and dryer.

So, what do you wish for in the appliance department? 

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Sunday, June 24, 2007

Suppose to be in church

I am suppose to be in church.   I woke up late the alarm didn’t go off.  I get up and walk into the bathroom and there is my baby girl going potty with no help at all.  She said, I potty mommy!  Now, how much more happier could I be?  We have been battling this potty thing since last month.    She WAS completely potty trained so I thought.   HA HA on me, she decided nope not gonna do it anymore.  Well, we decided to try again and it has been going ok.  But, I am really excited she has gone on her own. 

I should be in church.   But, I am not.  I don’t understand. I get up at 5:30 – 6:00 every morning but, this morning.  I wake up and the clock said 9:35.  I am so angry at myself for over sleeping.  

I want to be at church.   But, I guess this week I am not going to be.   Obviously because here I sit.   I am going to have to go figure out what is wrong with that alarm clock.   I hope I set it.  I am pretty sure I did.  But, you know, maybe I didn’t.

well, off I go to pray and study my bible.  If I am not at church, I can have it here. 

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Saturday, June 23, 2007

Neat little scary story.

Ok, I just wanted to tell everyone a crazy little scary, but, comforting story.   I think my house is haunted.   No kidding.   Me and Mikayla stayed up late the other night because I was doing laundry.  I got this awesome new washer and dryer.  It does a lot of laundry, so, I was getting it all done.   You know when you get something new you have to play with it.  lol.   Anyway, we were sitting down watching, I think Jimmy Kimmel live.   I had been fighting with Mikayla all day long about JT’s blanket.   I didn’t want her to use it she wanted to use it.   It is the duck blanket, the one in the picture.  Well, I finally gave up.  I figure it is a blanket it needs to be used. 

So, Mikayla is dragging the blanket around on the floor, I had been telling her if she wanted to use it to sit down with it and not drag it.  Well, all of a sudden she is yelling no baby no baby.  The blanket is stuck in the middle of the floor and it looks like something is sitting on it nothing is. I am in shock.  She yelled no baby I scared and then it was like something let go of it and she fell down.   She got up on the couch and didn’t get back up.  Neither did I. 

Weird strange things have been happening around here.  I have woke up with JT’s rattle in my bed.   Harley has came in yelling at me because I “took” it from her. Uhh….no I didn’t. 

I was talking to Stacy and she said JT came home to visit.  He probably sat at the NICU waiting for me and since I didn’t show up he came and found me.  Ha ha ha ha. He is in Heaven right now, he doesn’t need to visit that is scary.   She was having a really fun time scaring me.  She knows I scare easily.  lol. 

But, think it crazy, whatever, something was sitting on that blanket.  I believe in ghosts oh yeah, because I believe in everything that can possibly scare me with the exception of vampires and werewolves.  That is so unbelievable.  Come on now, a bat turning into a blood sucking man.  Get real.   But, ghost are the only thing that i can not explain away. 

It could have been a figment of my imagination too.  who knows what that was.   Scared me so bad, I slept on the couch, with Mikayla.  I didn’t switch the laundry after that. lol.

So, that is my story.   I just thought I would give everyone a good laugh.   lol

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Thursday, June 21, 2007

BEAUTIFUL POEM

This poemwas written by a dear friend.   Any words I have can not do it any justice.

Written May 17th 2007

by Sandra Jean Lombard

God knew you little one

before you were conceived,

and so the Lord above sent you from Heaven

because there was a need.

 

 

Your parents loved you little one

and embraced your love anew,

with each day’s passing

their love for you grew.

 

 

While you were here on earth little one

you made friends far and wide,

because of a simple smile and

your heart of gold deep inside.

 

 

Though time was short little one,

we did not know for how long,

The Lord above would lend you to us

And then begin to call you home.

 

 

\You taught us lessons in life little one

Even though you were so small

Compassion and Patience

And the greatest gift of all

 

 

To love unconditionally

And remind us of Faith

bringing us closer to our children

With your loving grace.   

 

 

With every tear that shed

The day God called you home

Your memory lives on

because of what you have shown…

 

 

to a mother, afather,

a sister and a brother

a Grandparent, a friend

unlike no other…

 

 

It is true sweet little one,

What others have said,

“the smallest of packages

are not small but big.

 

 

You may have been small

In measure, but in heart

yours was the biggest

than any other part.

 

 

Go home little one

for God calls you now

In heaven there’s no wires,

No pain, just clouds.

 

 

Where you can run

and you can play

smile and laugh

throughout the day.

 

 

We will never stop loving you

Little one, never forget you

Baby Johnathan

On this day or any day thereafter….

 

 

With Love, the Lombard family, 

the Homeschoolforms.com family (DY forum)

and Homeschooling Moms family 

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