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Friday, August 03, 2007

Had a meeting with my pastor yesterday.

It was a really good meeting. Stacy went with me because well, we are joined at the hip you know.  lol.  Just kidding.  We both had questions.  We got our questions answered.  And he even gave me a way to politely tell the JW’s to not come back.   So nice of him.  Because really, I can’t be mean.   It just isn’t me.   He also suggested that I read Hebrews.  And I have read to the 9th chapter and a lot of the questions that I have or had really are answered in there.  He showed me passages where the JWs change so that what they are saying sounds right.  But, it is out of context and where they should be reading as symbolic they read as literal and so on and so forth.   Very interesting conversation and very eye opening also.

He also gave me some prayers to help me out.  I have a hard time praying out loud “in front of people”   I don’t think those prayers will help me with that but, well, i love the prayers.  They did show me that a prayer is a prayer.  You don’t have to be fancy you just pray.  I really appreciate that. 

After we left there which we were there for an hour and a half and it just flew by.  He even said that if we had more questions and wanted to come back or if I just wanted to talk about JT then let him know and we can meet again.  How awesome is that? 

But, after we left there, I took Stacy to the cemetary and we visited Johnathan and looked at all the markers in the baby section.  I think cemetaries are beautiful and peaceful.  I would rather not be visiting my son there but, well, if it has to be there I am glad that he is in a beautiful and peaceful place.  I showed her the marker for Howard that I thought was so big which in actuality wasn’t.  She showed me where all her relatives were.   I think it was a great time.  This was the first time she had been there since he was buried and I wanted to be the one to take her.  I don’t know if she was ready or not but, I took her anyway.  I think that was selfish of me, but, I just thought it was something that she had to do. 

We also thanked him for letting us know that it was ok to be angry with God.  He has big shoulders and can take it.  He also said which I know but, I just need to hear it that Johnathan served his purpose.  There was a reason he was sent here and a reason that he was only here for 8 1/2 months.  I know this and I feel that is right in my heart and I know that we won’t know the extent of that purpose until we talk to God on the other side.  But, it helps me a little more every time that I hear that.  I have heard several stories of how people have prayed for the first time.  Praying for my son, or whose faith has grown because they have heard and read his story.  I think that it is awesome.  I hope that their faith and prayers continue, and that they keep growing in the Lord, and if JT’s short stay managed to do that then that is awesome news.   And I say thank you.  That doesn’t make my heart not hurt anymore or feel like it is being torn from my chest, or the wanting of my son back, but, it does help to know that.  

Well, I guess, I have talked enough.   But, I wanted to update you on our visit and the questions have been answered. 

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Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Thinking Blogger award

Wow, me, make people think?  How cool is that?  I would like to say thank you to Ginger for picking me.  How sweet is she?  I would like to accept this award on behalf of all the little people that got me here.  lol. 

Ok, I need to pick 5 people that make me think.  Or whose blogs make me think.  hmmmm……  Well, there are a lot of them.  And I think that alot of them have already been picked.   But, well, I am going to put you anyway. he he.

Here are the rules of participation:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,

3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote.

ok, here are my people:

Barbara Sue


Chocolate Chic

Tressa’s other corner


Those are my picks and if this is your 2nd or 3rd time getting picked than you just know you have really made some people out here think.  That I feel is a great accomplishment. 

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Monday, July 30, 2007


Just taking a break.   WE meaning the kids and I have totally trashed the house trying to clean it.  I have a living room full of yard sale stuff, and a dining room that is completely torn apart because I am going through it and organizing it and trying to see if there is more yard sale stuff.  I just finished the computer desk so, I figured why not get on this thing for a few.  And a few is what it is going to be.  lol.  I have kept myself so busy it is unreal.  I sewed an apron, and am almost done with a quilt and the tearing apart of the house.  Plus, I have a booster meeting tonight.  Which I have all of the stuff printed off for that.  So, that is done.  I just need to finish this dining room.  We are going around the outsides and throwing stuff in the middle where Harley and Stacey are going through it and getting out all the trash and then putting it in piles of where it goes in the house.  The system was working fine until I got on here and they all scattered.  I guess they deserve a break too.  I haven’t had pop since Friday night.  I am giving it up and I think I got energy now because of it.  Let’s hope so. 

Well, the natives are getting restless and fighting so, I guess it is back to work for all of us.  lol

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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Really depressed….

Just like the title says. I am really depressed.  I am just not interested in anything.  I can’t focus.   Stacy (my friend)  said I need to update this.  So, I am.  We went out Saturday night, just to get out and get away.  We happened upon the Jazz and Rib Fest at the park.  It was really great.  See here in little ole springfield, we have a Summer Arts Festival that runs about 6 weeks and everything there is free.  Well, except the food.   So, we decided to stop and walk around get some exercise and really enjoyed it.  We sampled some ribs and corn too.  They had resonable prices.  I was surprised. 

We were talking and we got on the subject of life after death.  Like where our souls go and such.  I have had some Jehovah Witnesses that have been stopping by and I said ok, I will study with you but, I don’t agree with some of the things that you teach and expect me to disagree.   She agreed.   But, she told me Saturday morning I think that it was that bodies are just lying there waiting.  No souls go to heaven, heaven is full.   Now, that goes against everything that I am taught and well, I just can’t believe it.  I have heard of the resurrection and I have heard souls going to heaven.  

Stacy and I were also talking about the fact that every bible is different and everyone interprets it a different way.  We could each read the same verse and have different interpretations of it.  It is so confusing.  I told her that we really need to find someone and talk to them about things someone who is really well versed in the bible.  Maybe who has special training in the original format so to speak. 

We also talked about different religions.  How do we know which one is right.  I mean you have Jewish, Buddist, Hindu, Christian, etc…..

They mostly all have a basis of each other but, different aspects.  Now, how do we know which one we are supposed to be or ….. here is a crazy thought, what if they are all right??? My favorite verse is Ephesians 4:5  There is one Lord, One Faith, One Baptism..

If that is the case, then we ALL should serve the same God, believe the same, etc..

Sorry about all of the etc…

I am not sure.  I really need to get a hold of my pastor and pick his brain so to speak.  I just really don’t like bugging people, but, this is bugging me. 

I think the Jehovah Witness people are doing what they are supposed to do.  Putting a seed of doubt in my heart and I really don’t like that.

I should really just tell them no go away don’t want to hear it, but, I am truely not that mean. 

Jean told me that you need to minister to all people regardless of your differences.  I feel though that i haven’t the tools to do so.  I would really like to get into a good bible study and just start learning and learning some more.  Because the more I try to do it on my own, the more I can’t do it. I have no one to ask questions to or get another point of view.  My grandmother sends me a bible study book once a month it is a A Closer Walk.  That is fine and all, but, I have no direction.  I need direction.  I pray for it but, when there is no one but myself to lead, then well, I get no where.  Very discouraging at the moment.  But, I plan on fixing that. 

Well, thanks for listening to me. 

oh yeah, on a side note…  The dug the place (hole) for JT’s marker.  I hope it comes in soon. It is beautiful.. 

So see you all another day here soon. 

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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

And then there is today.

Today has been so exhausting.  Stacy (my friend) and I have spent most of the day out and looking for places to get clothes for the boys.  We went to WIC, they had nothing.  Then to Saint Vincent dePaul, they had nothing.   Dollar General had every size flip flop but the right size for Shane and we basically got nothing.   And I don’t have the money to just run out and get them anything.  I had two dollars two dollars to my name and well, that isn’t going to get anything.   lol.   

So, here I sit very tired.   Ashley put a movie in for the boys and mikayla to watch.   Which is good.  So, hopefully that will keep them occupied for a while.   I also learned today that my baby girl is a little bully.  She likes to hit and tell them NO! she got in big trouble for that.  So, most of the day, she has sat.  I really should have spanked her but, shane and jordy have been hit so much that when I went to spank her they started screaming so, well, I figured that probably wouldn’t be a good idea to put them through watching that. So, she got off easy.   At least in my mind she did. 

Ashley is baking a cake and is going to surprise them with it.   We did manage to work together and got the kitchen all sparkly just to have her mess it up.  lol  but, oh well, it was going to happen eventually. 

Well, off to take Harley to counseling.   La la alalalalalala


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