Writing a book.

Well, I never thought that it would be so emotional writing about our journey in the NICU. I had to stop for a few days and just let it be. I feel sometimes like I am reliving it and my counselor said that happens and to do this is part of my healing. I am reliving it and being his memory keeper. I am keeping his memory alive the way that I know how to. He way to keep her son’s memory alive was to become a counselor but, it took her many years to do so. I know it will the healing process will take a long time. I am ony 5months 2 weeks and 5 days into it. It still feels like yesterday. But, this book is helping and I hope if it goes far enough to get done that it will help others too.

I am doing a lot of research and trying to put his conditions that he had into terms that everyday people will understand. Not the doctor jargon that I learned to understand. I really wish that there was someone there to help me understand better at first what a fistula was or NEC or just the medication and his IV nutrition. So, in doing this, I hope to break it down into everyday language.

Putting it down on paper helps me to know that it happened also, sometimes I think it was just a hallucination or a dream. did it really happen? It happened so fast. I think sometimes they lied to me and he is still up there. I am told this is normal. I hope so otherwise they need to break out the good drugs for me. lol.

On another note, Timmy had hernia surgery and is doing good. He is still here from this weekend and I can’t keep the boy sitting. He keeps trying to scare me and jump around and try to wrestle. I wanna smack him in the head. No not really but, I think a sedetive might be nice for him not for me. he he.

I have had a terrible cough for about 2 weeks now and I think it is about time to go to the doctor. It is keeping me from sleeping at night and I have become rather grouchy and I don’t think my people’s in this house are enjoying it. I know I am not.

I found this song circle of friends on one of my dy friends blogs. I love it absolutely. I miss the DY board. I keep trying to go to it. about as many times as I try to call the hospital. Keeping up on the blogs just isn’t the same.

Well, to all my dyers, I miss ya!!!

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5 Responses

  1. We love and miss you as well. (((Bobbie)))

    No the blogs aren’t the same as the forum.

  2. I know you are still grieving and healing. I am glad you are writing this book, but I know it is hard for you also. You are such a strong woman! God has & is using you in mighty ways.

    I love the song Circle of Friends also…it really speaks to how I feel about my DY sisters.

  3. Hi Bobbie, just a quick note to say I love you and keep you in my prayers.

  4. I think of JT and you often. I can’t imagine the pain you go thru each day and I want you to know that every day I visit this site and listen to “The Gift” multiple times. I think not only of JT but my Grandmother who died 4 years ago suddenly. I can see them together happily dancing with balloons and a ton of kittens surrounding them. Please know that I care and even though I personally did not have the pleasure of meeting JT in person that I came to love him thru your many posts and I ache for him too.

  5. Hi Bobbie, It’s me Sandra. I had been
    offline for sometime but I am back. I
    have missed you and wanted to let you
    know I think of you and especially J.T.

    I am still here for that interview for
    your book whenever you want. I know
    that you will honor your son Johnathan
    with your book….
    Take care…Love Sandra

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