grief group I accidentally put this in the wrong blog…

grief group I accidentally put this in the wrong blog…
Posted October 25, 2007 by Bobbie Poling
Categories: Uncategorized

This was supposed to go here it is from October 25th. Hopefully I can get it switched to the right one. lol.

Well, last night was our 3rd week. We have been enjoying it. Is that weird or what?? I don’t like getting there but, once that I am there I enjoy it. You can see the love everyone has for all of their children. It is awesome. Just to see them talking about their children gives me some comfort. This is a place where I can talk about Johnathan all that I want to and noone stops me. I am going to be sad next week at our last one. I am learning some things and I enjoy that too. I also have learned that just because I don’t think what someone is doing is not right for me, doesn’t mean that they are wrong for doing it for them. I really respect them for doing the things that help them get through things the way that they know how to.

We talked about Retta. I told them my dream. I don’t think that I have let you all in on my dream. Try as I might. I couldn’t go to the funeral. Well, Sunday afternoon, I fell asleep and had this really vivid dream. I dreamt I was in the NICU sitting by this baby. Have no clue if the baby was a boy or a girl. Just knew the baby was mine. And I was so tired from sitting there. So, Stacy and I went up to the nurses station and asked them if we could get into the Ronald McDonald House. She said it would cost .37 cents to get in there since it was after 9:00. So, she said she would call as soon as she gets the light bulb fixed. Don’t you know she climbed right on top of that desk and changed it?? How odd. Well, next think I know I am sitting on MY couch in the NICU. I thought that was weird, but, Retta was sitting next to me saying it is ok. Everything is going to be ok, I understand. Then Stacy comes up to me and says Well, we can’t get in the Ronald McDonald House now, only handicapped people after 9. So, I have to give her back the 37 cents. Then I woke up. I said my Good bye to Retta. I didn’t feel as bad for not going to the funeral. But, I still think I should have gone. I am just not ready to go to a funeral yet.
I think that somehow I was being comforted in the fact that I could say bye with out being there. I just got really upset after that dream though. How can I dream about Retta, and it be real to life I mean I felt like I was there and this was real, but, I can’t dream about Johnathan. It doesn’t seem fair. But, there you go. I look into my crazy mind. Hope you all enjoyed it. lol

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2 Responses

  1. (((((Bobbie)))))

  2. Thanks for your comment!! I have only dreamt of Abby once… and the following day was SO hard for me. Sometimes I think that GOd doesn’t allow me to dream of her so that I only recall the memories in my head and not rely on my subconscience. I think our subconsciences can be harsh and uncontrolled in dreams.

    Hope you’re doing well and that Christmas will be a wonderful, peaceful time for you and your family.

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