Update about the Grandpa dude…

Well, let’s just say that is was weird to have this man sitting in my living room after 10 years. The girls were so excited, they kept running to the door to look out of it. He finally pulled up in his big Brown, Ford LTD, jammin to some ZZ Top. He sat there for a minute because it takes him a while to get his breath to make it out of the car and up to the house. He had to take a couple of sprays of two inhalers to make it. They were jumpin around going is he coming??? Why is he just sitting there?

Let me explain first his appearance. I was used to the clean shaven guy with th long braid down his back. Big, muscular, and an overboding prescence. This was not the man that pulled up. First of all his head was shaved, and he had a beard. A long beard. And his cancer, and his vascular disease and congestive heart failure has done a number on him. He has shrunk. He used to be so controlling that when he coughed his girlfriend would run to get him a glass of water. She knew what every cough meant.

He is no longer that kind of person. He used to take drugs just to get sober. No longer on the drugs or the alcohol. Which is awesome. I never thought I would see the day to tell you the truth. And it was refreshing talking to a sober Bear. His nickname is Bear. He has been called that since he was 16.

He finally got to the door. He didn’t want any help what so ever. He can still do it on his own and even if it takes him an hour he will do it. He sat down and knew who all the kids were. It took him a minute with Ashley and Harley but, as soon as he looked at Harley’s eyes he knew who was who. He talked a lot. He had 10 years worth of things to say.

He talked about their dad and his past and how he is not the person that Ashley might remember. He told them some really funny stories about their dad when he was little. And some stories about some of the people that he has met. That really only impressed me. lol. Janis Joplin, who wouldn’t be impressed with that. Sorry, I love her. He used to work as a bouncer at the Whiskey a Go Go in the 70’s. He was a biker and still is a biker at heart. Which totally impressed Harley. She is totally into Harley’s because they say her name. 😆

He told them how much he loved them and that is all he thought about when getting off of drugs. That if he got clean then he could have a relationship with his grandchildren and his son. Which his son is not as willing to accept but, there is a lot of history and it takes time. But, hopefully someday he will come around.

He told them all about how dangerous cigarettes were for them and to never start because it causes cancer and he is living proof of that.

He stayed most of the day and talked, talked, talked. Even though we were wore out by the time he left, we enjoyed it all.

We also talked about JT. Harley does not let anyone not know about him. He told me how sorry he was and that he would have been there for me if he would have known. And that he considers Mikayla and JT his grandchildren to. Which really made me feel good. Because Mikayla kept calling him Grandpa because the other girls were and you know how some people are with the blended family thing. And with it being my ex’s father you never know.

He still calls me his daughter in law and said he hoped Mike didn’t mind. He is not doing it out of disrespect but, because that is still how he thinks of me.

Mike and Bear got along great. They were telling jokes back and forth and he was asking Mike if he treated me right. Those dad things they do.

I was really impressed by him and just can’t believe how different he is. The girls loved the visit and so did me and Mike.

I am so very glad that I let him come over. I still had that feeling of the old Bear. And I know that back then noise aggitated him. And our house is not quiet by an means. But, nope, he wasn’t jittery or jumpy so, it must have been the drugs doing it to him back then.

Well, that is the visit. Hope you enjoyed reading all of that.


3 Responses

  1. You do not know how happy I am that the visit went so well. People do change. Not all people change, but some do. And I’m sure your ex has years of brokenheartedness to get past before he even begins to forgive his father. It’ll take time. I just pray it won’t take too much time, before it’s too late.


  2. I am so thankful the visit with Bear went well. What a great story of love & forgiveness you have to share with your kids. I pray that your ex will be able to see the changes in his father and find forgiveness for him too. (((Bobbie & Family)))

  3. I hope that your ex, Bear’s son can get over his past dealing w/Bear so that he can have a good relationship w/him and be able to share the memories w/his girls. It will be better for them if they can see dad & grandpa getting along.

    Glad that it all went well.

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