Ok, I am over it.

I gave myself two days to feel sorry for myself. I feel alot better. Thanks so much for the support I got.

I was really feeling guilty about this pregnancy because well, lots of things go through my head you would be surprised. lol Or maybe you wouldn’t. I feel guilty about being happy because of other people. Not because of myself but, because I am afraid other people are going to think that I am trying to replace Johnathan. I am not doing that. No baby could ever replace him. I am so afraid of what the in law people are going to say when they find out that I have been making myself sick on top of morning sickness and that doesn’t feel good. I had a talk with my husband and we are not going to tell them right now. We are going to wait. My mother-in-law isn’t the nicest person and well, I would rather keep the negative comments at a minimum and be able to enjoy myself. Although when I need her she is there she just has a very sharp tongue and speaks her mind whether anyone wants to hear it or not. And she keeps talking. and talking and talking.

Anyway off to happier things. The girls are so excited about the baby. The did the ring thing on my belly last night and they have come to the conclusion that I am having twins. Because it went back and forth and in a circle. Seriously, it went back and forth and then completely stopped and went in a circle. They did it 4 times and it did the exact same thing every time. Now, we know it is an old wives tale but, hey it was really exciting to watch it. Then little Stacey she told me that our bets are cancelled out. Because she thinks she can predict these things. She bet me I was having a girl and I bet her a boy. She was right the last time and I think it made her head big. She is too full of herself. So, if the ring thing is right, then we get to exchange dollars. lol.
****disclaimer, we are not a gambling family nor do I condone gambling. This was just a friendly little goofy thing between mom and daughter******

And if that ring thing is right, oh wow. That is all that I can say about that one. November 13th is my ultrasound, so we will find out then.

Mikayla is really excited about trick or treating. She keeps telling me when the girls get home from school, then we are leaving. I have tried and tried to tell her that it isn’t until tomorrow but, she is totally not listening to me. I keep telling her one more bedtime then we can go but, nope she tells me no. Thats not right mommy. I love to see her excited about things.

Well, I have gotten alot done today but, have a lot more to do. Mount Washmore is waiting for me. That stinkin beep on that machine is going to drive me crazy today. 😆 I still have to do 15 minutes in my bedroom and 2 more loads of laundry. Then, I am done for the day. Woo hoo.

Everyone have a great day!!!!

Hug someone today and tell them how much you appreciate them.

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Have you ever had one of those days??….

Where you feel like life is trying to kick you in the head? Where you feel like you can’t talk to anyone about it becase you don’t want to ruin their day because….well, you just don’t want to? Yep, I am having one of those days. I just have a lot on my mind and no solutions is all. It just seems when everything is going wonderful for everyone else my life is falling apart and when everything is going bad for everyone my life is falling apart. I just want to talk but, don’t want to bring anyone down, so, I don’t talk.

***Everything with the pregnancy is going great. The wonderful morning sickness, everything is great. I am thankful for the morning sickness, it lets me know that everything is going great and the baby is growing*****

Nope, it is everything else. So, to be so elusive and I know people will read this and just be like what the heck?? But, I just needed to say it. There I feel better. I think. Oh well, tomorrow is another day. Everyone go hug someone.

Have a great day!

I feel so much better

I went to the doctor yesterday and I feel so much better. I have my lovenox shots and my other pregnancy stuff. I gave myself my shot and didn’t pass out. If anyone knows anything about me they know anything that blood and shots and blood tests make me pass right out. But, I did it. Yeah for me!

I think I just had to go to the doctor and make sure everything was ok. I have another appointment on November 13th for an ultrasound. I can’t wait for that one. I can’t wait to see my baby. I am really getting excited about this. I mean I was excited but, it is starting to set in that yes, I am pregnant. That in about 7 1/2 months there is going to be a new baby here.

I can’t wait until this pregnancy progresses a little bit more and I feel kicks and it kicks me so hard I pee myself. Yes, these are the things that I look forward to. And putting on my pants and one day and finding out that they no longer fit. Oh, I just can’t wait.

Well, I must go tend to the flock. I have one home sick today and the other is demanding breakfast. Everyone have a wonderful day!

Feelings…

I don’t know what to title this one so, maybe by the end of the post I’ll have something.

I am really scared about being pregnant. I know I am going to worry the whole time. Which is ok and to be expected. I just don’t want it to interfear with me enjoying this pregnancy. I already know all the things that can go wrong. I wish I was blissfully ignorant to that fact but, I am not anymore. I think most of my morning, afternoon and evening sickness has more to do with nerves than anything else. Every little pain or weird feeling I am afraid that I am going to miscarry. Every day 5000 times a day I pray, I give it to God, I lay it at his feet, but, I take it back again. It is like I don’t trust him to do his job. Which is crazy. I need to let the worry go until I have a reason to worry. Even then it isn’t up to me.

I still can’t believe I am pregnant. I am really excited behind all the worry. I want to run out and look at baby stuff. I have had a hard time looking at the baby stuff since JT died. I would just cry walking past it in Wal Mart. I always stopped and got him a little onsie at least once a week when he was in the NICU. Just a little something. I had all girls and never got to shop for a boy and oh man did I go crazy. I love the little lookin like a little man shirts and the cute little pants with trains on them. And I was glad not to have to buy something pink again. After the fourth girl pink somehow looses it’s magic. lol.

I want to think up names which we already have but, that isn’t going to stick the whole pregnancy. We were just having fun. Like my baby is not going to be named Gunther or Percy. Or Esmerelda. Sorry if anyone out there has those names they just aren’t for me.

I just want to be so excited outloud and I am not letting myself. Secretly, I am jumping for joy and doing a little happy dance. Because I’m gonna have a baby! (singing).

So, I would really appreciate your prayers on this. IF you don’t mind.

Now, off to do IComLeavWe. If you would like to participate, click on the link on the left side of my blog I think it is the 3rd thing down. Read the rules and participate. It is a lot of fun.

Have a wonderful day!

Tackle it Tuesday….

Well, I participated in 5 minutes for mom Tackle it Tuesday CLR Kitchen and Bathroom Cleaner challenge. Ok, here’s a link, my computer keeps messing up today for some reason and not letting me link stuff. 5 minutes for mom

I hope that works right.

Anyway, I love this stuff. It worked wonders on my bathtub and kitchen sink. They both look brand new again. Stains that have been there for 5 years. Count them folks, 5 years are gone. I don’t know how it worked or how it did it, but, it did. I don’t have pics because well, I don’t have a camera. But, I still wanted to let everyone know what an awesome product this is. So, go out buy some and get that rust off of your bathtub. You’ll love yourself for it.

Happy Birthday Megan…..

Who would have ever thought that this beautiful baby

And this gorgeous Toddler

Would grow up into this crazy, whacky, gotta love you, one of a kind, beautiful, gorgeous, smart as can be 5 year old!

Have an awesome birthday today!!! Love you bunches Little Lady!!!!

I am….

Pregnant. Yay!!!! I can’t believe it. I am excited, and scared. Jiminy you can’t fool some of you. lol. We spent yesterday writing down baby names putting them in a hat and picking out first and middle names. It was a lot of fun. Well, except my husband kept coming up with crazy names. But, that was fun too.

Oh yeah, due date. Well, me and Stacy figure it up to be June 18, 2009. So that makes me 5 weeks and 1 day well, I guess 2 days now, lol. I have to call my doctor immediately Monday morning because I have a clotting disorder that I only have when I am pregnant so, I get the honor of giving myself a shot daily. But, hey ya gotta do what you gotta do. lol.

I was wondering why I was feeling icky and tired and not able to sleep. Other than the fact that I wasn’t sleeping but, I felt it was something else and the test confirmed it. My hubby tried to act upset at first. You know he is all about the money issue. But, then he broke out in a dance and well, he is very very excited. The girls are excited too. Mikayla is getting there she just wants to know how it is going to “come out” of mommy’s stomache. lol. And she doesn’t want it to hurt me. She was very upset about me being hurt last night. She also asked if the baby was Johnathan and I told her no this is a new baby. We don’t know who this baby is yet. Johnathan is in Heaven. She said I know but, did God send him back. Nope, he didn’t. It was actually quite I don’t know funny? She was so serious when she was talking about it. Then she relaxed and we played until she fell asleep. So, awesome day yesterday. I just can’t believe it.

Have a great day everyone!!