Feelings…

I don’t know what to title this one so, maybe by the end of the post I’ll have something.

I am really scared about being pregnant. I know I am going to worry the whole time. Which is ok and to be expected. I just don’t want it to interfear with me enjoying this pregnancy. I already know all the things that can go wrong. I wish I was blissfully ignorant to that fact but, I am not anymore. I think most of my morning, afternoon and evening sickness has more to do with nerves than anything else. Every little pain or weird feeling I am afraid that I am going to miscarry. Every day 5000 times a day I pray, I give it to God, I lay it at his feet, but, I take it back again. It is like I don’t trust him to do his job. Which is crazy. I need to let the worry go until I have a reason to worry. Even then it isn’t up to me.

I still can’t believe I am pregnant. I am really excited behind all the worry. I want to run out and look at baby stuff. I have had a hard time looking at the baby stuff since JT died. I would just cry walking past it in Wal Mart. I always stopped and got him a little onsie at least once a week when he was in the NICU. Just a little something. I had all girls and never got to shop for a boy and oh man did I go crazy. I love the little lookin like a little man shirts and the cute little pants with trains on them. And I was glad not to have to buy something pink again. After the fourth girl pink somehow looses it’s magic. lol.

I want to think up names which we already have but, that isn’t going to stick the whole pregnancy. We were just having fun. Like my baby is not going to be named Gunther or Percy. Or Esmerelda. Sorry if anyone out there has those names they just aren’t for me.

I just want to be so excited outloud and I am not letting myself. Secretly, I am jumping for joy and doing a little happy dance. Because I’m gonna have a baby! (singing).

So, I would really appreciate your prayers on this. IF you don’t mind.

Now, off to do IComLeavWe. If you would like to participate, click on the link on the left side of my blog I think it is the 3rd thing down. Read the rules and participate. It is a lot of fun.

Have a wonderful day!

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9 Responses

  1. It is SO hard to just give it to God. And not worry. Sometimes I feel like it’s saying “stop breathing” and “God will take care of your air for you”. But you breathe anyway. And yet the worry is so annoying. Here is to both of us releasing our fears and trusting. :o)
    ***HUGS**

  2. I’m right there with you (my due date is June 17th!). I’m sure that all this morning/afternoon/night sickness is nerves and not sickness. I just so want this one to work out. Makes me wonder why God has us go through this. I know its to draw closer to Him and to trust in Him and to depend on Him. But, that doesn’t just make it better.

    Here’s to deep breaths and letting go 🙂 ICLW

    How neat congratulations!!!! I’ll be praying for you!

  3. Praying for you and baby!

    ((HUGS))

  4. Best of luck with your pregnancy. I hope everything works out well and you can enjoy it!

    ICLW

  5. Congrats on being pg. It’s hard not to worry. I am 17weeks pg and I still worry every single day. But I am starting to breathe a little…

    I have no advice but all I can say is that Nity always says the right things! 🙂

    (((hugs)))

  6. Sorry forgot to add that I’m here from ICLW.

  7. Worry is always at the top of my mind during pregnancy. I worry about everything. Everything I eat or do – how will it affect the baby, and on and on. It’s definitely the hardest thing for me to give back to God as well.

    Hang in there and keep praying!

    Here from ICLW

  8. I found your site from ICLW. Congratulations on getting pregnant. I can’t really say how I felt being pregnant because I have never been pregnant before, so Congratulations and Hugs.

  9. God is soooo good!

    And you know what? I’m here for ya! If you need me for anything, just let me kow. 🙂

    I am so happy for you! 🙂

    Thank you so much K, you just don’t know how much that means to me.

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