No more excuses….

I read a blog this morning that reminded me of the holidays spent in the NICU. It was like she was in my head and knew what I was thinking. She has been there too. She has a beautiful son who I loved to keep up with and see what he is going to be doing next and an great family.

In reading her post, it brought back all the emotions that I felt, being stuck in the NICU and it seeming as though no one cared. Like they got to go on with their lives and oh well about us. They didn’t have to worry about procedures or 4 hour evals or even just are we gonna make it one more day. They could sit at home eating their turkey or ham and enjoy thier holiday and not give one thought to what we were going through. It was really lonely up there but, at the same time, we felt loved and well taken care of. The nurses in the NICU made sure that everything was decorated and recorded. They took lots of pictures for the parents. JT was still in his incubator and vented at Thanksgiving so, I sat by his incubator and talked and read to him and held his hand when I could. Mike’s family got mad at me because I wanted to be there with him. I didn’t want his first Thanksgiving to come and go and him spend it alone. What kind of injustice would that be? JT was in the NICU but, he was still MY child. Sick, tubes and all. I wouldn’t never forget him and let him be alone on a holiday or any day for that matter. But, they just didn’t get it. I didn’t want them to forget Thanksgiving. That is far from what I wanted. I just wanted them to care. Stop by and say hi. Call up there while I was there and just say hi and happy Thanksgiving over the phone. Give him something. Show him that you care. He knows when you are there. He isn’t just a sick baby that doesn’t know anything. But, that never happened. What happened was Mike took half the kids with him to the dinner and I took the other half with me to the hospital, and while I felt so alone and like no one cared, JT had a good Thanksgiving and we were there for him because that is what mattered. Not that I was alone, but that He wasn’t.

Which brings me to the post that Alex’s mommy wrote today. It says all that I want to say but, in a better way than I could.

Just be there for someone this holiday season. If they have a sick child, special needs child, or if they have lost their child this year and this is going to be their first without them. Just be there for them. It only takes a few minutes to call them and let them know that you are there for them. Because when you are feeling alone and desolate, a hi just calling to let you know I am here, is like gold to us.

Thank you!


9 Responses

  1. I wish all of us special mommys could have been there for each other.
    We have been to hell and back, and then somtimes again.
    Love you sister.

  2. This is so true, Bobbie. This season is going to be hard for me.
    Christmas is my favorite time of the year and last Christmas with jenna was one of our best ever. 9I think god especially allowed it to be special so that we would have good memories. )

  3. You are so right. This message of – what we really want in our time of sadness – needs to be spread. Ah- if the world were ready, I’d write the book. But, sadly I don’t think they are.

  4. Thank you for reminding me to be wary of other people’s losses. Sometimes we all need that little poke in the ribs to remember those who aren’t having such a good holiday season. Here from ICLW.

  5. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I can’t imagine. I can completely understand why you wanted to be with your son and also wanted others to understand why you needed that. I think people either just don’t understand or they don’t want to get involved in an uncomfortable situation.


  6. I am glad you made the choice to spend the time with JT. I hope all of us reading your blog will become more sensitive to situations like yours and others we have read about. This Thanksgiving you have a time to rejoice that you had that time and treasure it in your heart. So many are having difficult times and for some reason we as believers fail in the gift of ministry. I would like to have been there with you and hold your hand while you held JT. Bless you.

  7. hmmm, holidays are for everybody – it’s not just about sitting around the same table and eating turkey!

  8. Thanks for the reminder. Years ago, I visited a dear friend and her precious preemie in the hospital. It was so hard but I was so glad I got a chance to meet her before they lost her.


  9. I can’t imagine how painful it had to be to watch your precious baby hooked up to all kinds of machines and not know how he would be from one day to the next. I am so very sorry for your loss. ((HUGS))

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