Big Families….

Sometimes I feel guilty having as many kids that I do when I know many are struggling just to have one. But, I love kids. I didn’t think I did. But, 14 years ago, when I had my first baby girl. I was totally enamored with children.

When I was 12 my uncle asked me how many children do I think that I would have? I answered him with a big emphatic NONE. I don’t like kids. He told me he wished he had a tape recorder. Yes, I said tape, lol this was way back in the day, 1987 to be exact. Now, don’t try finding out my age, I’ll lie about it. I am eternally 22 3/4. He said he would play it back to me in 15 years when I would probably have at least 3. Ha on him. I had 3 1/2. What was he thinking? He set me up. He set me up to prove him wrong. He also said that I would have many girls and they would put me through worse than what I put them through.

Ok, so, I have 5 girls altogether and I am proud to report that none of them acts like I did as a child. They are actually 2000 times better. Not that I was a bad kid they just haven’t had any of the bad experiences that I did. Which I am eternally grateful for. Yep, they are sassy, yes, they test me. Yep, there is some yelling. Yep, there have been spankings. Ok, little swats. My kids actually laugh at me when I have tried to swat them.

There is a ton of dishes and even more laundry. We have to have a big house which means more to clean. There is more garbage then a landfill practically. Stuff is never spotless or immaculate around here but, I don’t ever want it to be. I like my clutter. Ok, sometimes I could do with out it, but, you would never accuse us of not living in our home. After all that is what they are for arent they?

With lots of children comes many more hands to help hugs to give and love to go around. A lot more of chaos sweet wonderful chaos that I love so much. When the three oldest went to stay with their dad this summer, I though oh yeah, a break. But, only for a minute. Ok, maybe like three days. But, the house was too quiet. No one was fighting no one was laughing some where in the house, nothing. Mikayla is fine for hours by herself. Heck you put a movie in the girl doesn’t move. Or you can sit outside with her and she’ll play for hours. Just me and Mikayla it just wasn’t hmmm…. loud enough. I missed my girls.

I missed everything. I missed the fighting, and the beating on each other. Yes, they do that. Don’t ever let anyone tell you girls are little dainty things. They fight better than boys and more than boys. I am here to attest to that one. You get hormones into the picture and whoa buddy it is on.

This Thanksgiving when we were altogether and having such a wonderful time reminded me that I can’t live without them. I just can’t. They bring me everything that is them. They make me, well, me.

Yes, I miss JT, I didn’t think that I could live without him. I still don’t think that I can live without him. I miss him so much every day and wonder where he would fit in here. I just think I should have a two year old running around here causing choas right along with the other ones. I imagine the girls being very protective of him and just loving all over him. And then he gets into their make up or lotion and they are mad at him but, only for a moment. Because who could stay mad at that cute little boy too long?? I know I couldn’t.

Now, we are looking forward to another member of our family. I can’t wait to see where they will fit in and how much the girls will love this little one. How when he/she starts getting mobile and gets into their stuff what will happen. When he/she falls and gets a booboo how many of them will come running to soothe him/her. Or when there is sleepless nights who will help just because they don’t ever want to let them cry and want them to be happy. I am soo excited to find out just what he/she will contribute to our family because if it is anything like the others then we are extremely blessed because friends our family does nothing little.

While I feel some guilt about adding another child to our family, it is overpowered by the special gift God has chosen to give us. Every child that I have is a blessing to us. And how can I feel guilty by the special gift God has decided to give us? I think God would feel as though I have smacked him in the face if I keep feeling like this. But, I think he understands. I am sure he understands. Because He loves me scars scrapes and brokeness.

Well, this is getting long and so I guess I’ll close….

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3 Responses

  1. What a beautiful post! 🙂

  2. I hope your house is always so full of love and activity. I think it is wonderful to read about your family and I am glad that you and your husband don’t mind a big family. You are right, each child is a special gift from God. J.T. is part of your family, every day, every moment. The fact that he beat you all to heaven, and is 1st makes it a testimony that he will greet each of you as you too make your journey. He is having the greatest time right now – and I am certain that he will always remain in each of your hearts.

    I agree, it is wonderful that God loves us regardless of our scars, scrapes and brokeness, and for me, my forgetfullness.

  3. You are such a sweet person<3 You are lucky and blessed for the family you have been given, but always remember that they are lucky and blessed for their wonderful mommy they have been given too<3

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