A different World…

I really like this song. And Bucky reminds me of Bo Duke from the Dukes of Hazzard. So, instead of posting something depressing which I happen to be at the moment, I’ll give you something nice to watch.

I made it through…

2008 is coming to a close and The New Year is upon us. As I look back. It seems that I have no milestone markers to mark this year with except that in May it was one year since JT has been gone.

Last year I had so many. JT was born, He had surgery, he came off the vent, he had surgery, he had surgery, he had a blood transfusion, he smiled, he answers yes or no questions, we got to dress him for the first time, he moved to a big boy bed. JT had his first sucker. I got to stay the night with him for the first time. JT went outside. JT died. JT’s first birthday celebration with out him. My first halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas without him.

I got pretty much nothing that I know of, to mark this year. The only milestone that I have is The anniversary of his death. The first one and I made it through. His second birthday and I made it through. I still miss him terribly. But, I am making it through.

September, found out I was pregnant. I didn’t think it was possible and a really big surprise. I am making it through. So, 2008 was a lot of making it through.

2 of my girls started middle school, and 1 started high school. Oh boy am I am getting old. But, I am making it through. lol.

All kinds of personal things going on with close family, my house is in chaos most of the time, but, we are trudging through it and making it through.

So, 2009 please be nicer to us. I beg you. I don’t want to just make it through. I want to LIVE through it. Thank you very much.

Soo tootleloo 2008, I learned many things and made it through many things this year. But, I bid you Adeiu, in the nicest way possible. Good bye and God bless!

Christmas Dinner on Saturday…

On Saturday we are having a repeat Christmas Dinner. I can hardly wait. I invited Stacy and her family and also Josh my other friend and his family. We aren’t sure if they can come yet because Mary is about to deliver them a baby girl any day now. So, we’ll see.

Stacy is coming over early to help us cook. I just know we are gonna have a blast. I can hardly contain myself with the excitement that I am feeling. So, I thought that I would post our menu. Little Stacey and I had so much fun planning it and Mike will have sooo much fun shopping for it all. lol

Here it goes:

Ham
Mashed Potatoes and Gravy
Real Mac n Cheese
Corn
Green Bean Casserole
Cheddar Broc Rice
Sweet Potatoes with Marshmellows
BBQ Wienies
Cheese Ball
Corn Bread
Rolls
Pioneer Woman’s Cake
Brownies
Cookies
Deviled Eggs
Chips
Pop
Little Hugs

We are going to make sugar cookies for the kids to decorate to give them something to do. Totally Stacey’s idea. She is really into this.

I just love having the house full of people. I can’t wait only 4 more days.

Have a great day everyone!!!

The house is quiet….

Hubby took the kids to the dentist. All 4 of them. And my house is quiet. Ahhh…. It is so nice to have alone time. Especially with all of the chaos that we have been having around here lately.

Timmy is snoozing upstairs and I don’t have to worry about him interrupting my quiet time. The boy won’t be up until about 12.

I have been sitting here thinking about all the things that have happened in 2008. The New Year is about to blow in and a whole bunch of new memories are about to begin.

I can’t wait to see what this year hold. We will be meeting our new little one Mid way through the year. Around that same time we will be celebrating JT’s 2nd year in Heaven, and a few months later, his 3rd Birthday. I don’t know yet, how to balance the feelings that I know I will have. That I am actually having now. I really should stop worrying about the future. Because what is going to be is going to be. God’s got this and I just need to trust that.

But, on the other hand, I can’t help still feeling sometimes that he let me down. I know he did what was right for JT’s sake. He took him home so that he didn’t have to suffer anymore. But, I really wanted that healing. The way that I wanted the healing. Not the way that God chose to heal him. I wanted him to just grow small bowel and his liver to just become healthy again. Wouldn’t that be a story to share??

Or for his heart to be able to be fixed so that he could get his transplant. But, that isn’t what happened and I am living with the fact that JT is gone. I really don’t like that fact.

As we are preparing for this new little one in about 5 months, I feel guilty sometimes for being so happy about it. I am also afraid that the same thing will happen with this one. Very afraid. I really want to hold this baby and take this one home straight from the hospital. I don’t want the NICU. Because with the NICU comes more emotions I just don’t want to deal with.

Friday we have an u/s to check the placenta to make sure that it implanted itself in the right spot. We just might be able to find out what he is too. Sometimes I think girl sometimes I think boy. I guess it is a 50/50 chance huh? lol.

If you could all say a little prayer that everything checks out ok. That would be awesome. I would really appreciate your prayers.

Thanks so much!

The puppies…

They are doing great and getting sooo soo big. We had to get a bigger place for them because the box they were in wouldn’t hold all of them and their momma too. And they need their momma. Their little faces are are coming out and you can see what they are going to look like when they get older. Their eyes are still closed. They are now a big whopping 7 days old. They are getting vocal when they can’t find what they are looking for on momma. Oh boy are they vocal. They are just so cute. I wish I could show you some updated pics but, my camera went on the fritz. The screen is all blurry so the pictures are too. I’ve tried everything that it says to try to make it not fuzzy and nothing is working. I just got the thing like 2 months ago. This shouldn’t be happening yet. I wouldn’t think.

I leave you with a few of little Stacey’s favorite pics from last week.

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Oh jiminy she wants her picture up too. lol Here she is! lol It too her twenty minutes to find just the right one. I better post this before she changes her mind.

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Well, i might be back…

I figured I’d let everyone know how our Christmas went. It was ok. In the sense that I was slightly disappointed in some goings on. I really don’t want to turn this into a rant. But, it may become that.

We had fun opening our presents. It took all of 5 minutes. Stacey had been up since about 4 and had woke me up also. I told her she had to wait until 7 then we could wake everyone up and have at it. It was sooo hard for her to wait. She didn’t try to even peek at her stuff this year. Usually she is a big old snoop and knows pretty much everything she is getting before it even gets wrapped. But, this year. She knew nadda zip zilch. Which made the anticipation so much more fun for her.

7:00 rolls around and we go to wake everyone up. Mikayla just wanted to sleep. We tried everything to get her up but she wasn’t having it. First she said she didn’t like Santa, then she wanted us to bring everything up to her. Silly little girl. When she finally woke up, she realized what we were talking about she was downstairs in a flash.

Everyone tore through everything and loved everything that they got. Then they spent the next few hours trying on things and playing with stuff.

My sister and neice were here. I think that is all that I am going to say about that. Let’s just say that it wasn’t pleasant the whole time and I was very disappointed.

I fixed Christmas lunch, I guess you would call it. We are used to eating later, but, people were rushing me. So, not everything got cooked and made like I had wanted to.

Every holiday my girls and I have a blast. We all get in the kitchen and just have at it. This holiday it didn’t happen because my sister didn’t want them in there and she wasn’t willing to help either. She said they might slobber in the food or something. Which wouldn’t happen, unless of course we got Stacey laughing too hard.

So, we only had ham, (boxed) macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes and gravy, and green bean casserole.

I had planned on having: Real mac n cheese, cheddar/broc rice, cheese ball, corn, rolls, Pioneer woman’s sheet cake, cornbread, a salad, and baked beans. That would have went with the stuff up there. oh yeah, and deviled eggs.

You see everyone has their specialty, I of course do the ham, Stacey does the cheese ball, corn bread, and deviled eggs, Harley does the corn, mashed potatoes and gravy, mac n cheese, and the rolls. Then Ashley does the rest.

All the while we are usually in there laughing joking and sometimes food flies. But the time we come out of the kitchen we look like we have been through a war. That is the best part of the holiday for me. Us all being in there together. Mikayla even helps with pouring and stirring things.

I didn’t get that this year and I am sooo disappointed. Ok, I am sorry if it sounds like whinning I truely am, but, I needed to get this out. And here seemed like a way to do it.

I lost all focus this year. We didn’t even read the story of Jesus this year like we always do.

I think that me and the girls and Mike, for some reason I keep forgetting about him. lol. I think that we will have our real Christmas Dinner this weekend. I think that is a solution to this hum drum I am feeling about the whole thing.

Well, anyway if you made it this far. Thanks so much!

Bloggy break interrupted…. to bring you this special bulletin…

My precious little beagle baby had her puppies yesterday. She had 8. They are all soo cute and well, precious.

Here are Precious’s puppies for you to see.

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My baby girl all tired out from her labor and being an awesome mommy.

Some sweetness and cuddle goodness for you all.

Merry Christmas!!!