Today is her birthday. She is the big 15. One more year and she will be driving!!! Jim Carey eye bulging moment. And in 3 years she will be :big gulp: 18!!!!!

I really miss my little girl but, she is growing up and becoming a woman. I am not sure I like that. lol. Goodness Gracious when you have kids, you think about their future, but, for them to actually leave or get close to leaving home no matter how teenagery they may be at them moment. It is totally breaking my heart.

I know I know, I will still have plenty of children at home to keep me company, but, my first baby will be leaving the nest. I can’t believe I have been a mom for 15 years. I have been her mom longer than I have been anything else in my life. Unbelieveable that I have stuck with something that long. I am going to be real here and serious.

I always thought that I would loose my children. My grandparents lost my mom and her siblings to children services and my mom lost all of us to children services. So, I just figured that history was going to repeat it’s self no matter how hard I worked at it and by the time she was 9 they would take all my children. But, I worked so hard at being a mom and working and doing the right things and getting out of a really bad abusive relationship with her father and went to church and prayed and asked for help when I needed it and it didn’t happen.

I broke the cycle. Can you believe it??? I broke the cycle. The curse of the Brown’s didn’t hit me. Well, ok, if you count being poor, well, then it did, but, I’ll take that over losing my kids to Children Services any day. I didn’t do it by myself though. There were many people along the way that helped me and who I have learned from. And alot of trial and error. There would be no way to thank all of them. I don’t remember all their names, or even what they look like. But, they were an integral part in who I am as a mother today.

And I never forgot to take it to the Lord in prayer. When Ashley was little she would be able to prayer for something and seconds later it would be fixed. I remember we had a flat tire and we had been working on it for over and hour and it had some weird lug nuts on it and we just couldn’t get the thing off. She looked at me and said mommy just pray. Then she said, “God, could you help us get this tire off so that we can get home and change Stacey, she stinks and we left the diapers at home? In Jesus Name, Amen”

Don’t you know by the time she said Amen, that lug nut broke free like it was butter. And we were on the road and ready to go with in 15 minutes. That is child like faith right there and God answering even the craziest request and that of a 4 year old no less.

I wish I had that child like faith. I used to have it but, some where it got lost along the way. I would love to get it back again. I guess I better pray about it huh?? lol.

My baby is 15 today. She is up and grumpy but, I still love her, warts and all. Happy Birthday Baby girl!!


One Response

  1. Awesome, Bobbie! Way to go! Amazing what a friendship with God can do in a person’s life. Happy Birthday, Ashley! You’re beautiful!

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