Biscut crumbs in my hair…

I have been in this strange mood to cook and bake things lately. And from anyone that knows me knows that I don’t like to cook or bake and when I do, I totally mess it up. Like we are talking dough that doesn’t rise, roast that is burnt beyond oblivion, etc… But, for the last week, something magical has happened. I have actually done stuff right. Go figure. A couple of posts ago, I made Chocolatechics Fudge Birthday cake and Bagels to Pioneer woman’s roast and No need to Knead rolls. They have all turned out great and been eaten uh scarfed down the same day.

There were a few rolls left this morning and Mikayla dove straight into them. She is a very slow eater. She will do fly by eating as in her plate is sitting there she takes a bite and off she goes a few minutes later a bite off she goes. She usually finishes it just takes her awhile. Well, this morning, as she was eating her roll, and I might add that recipe makes a whole lota them, She grabbed me and gave me this wonderfully big hug and told me “Mommy, I love you!” I ended up with a whole lota buncha crumbs in the back of my hair. For a split second I wanted to be upset, but, why?

Here was my daughter offering me love in it’s purest form and I was going to be upset about a little bit of bread crumbs. Could’ve smacked myself for that one. I try not to be this way but, sometimes when I am inconvienced as with the bread crumbs, I just can’t look past that. I can’t look past the second it could take me to brush them out, to see my daughter sitting there love and butter and crumbs all over her face and see the love shining through.

Sometimes it is hard for myself to look past the rules and regulations so to speak to be a child of God also. I went to a church that just crammed these things down your throat. Not the one that I have been going to for the past 13 years but, when I was younger and a child and adolescent. I always heard you have to do this you have to do that, and to fail, oh boy, that was a no no. It felt very constrictive and stiffling to me. Where is the love I used to think, surely God has a little to offer but, I never felt it. I didn’t feel I could be honest with him. I couldn’t trust God. All I heard were the beseechings.

But, I have since felt the love and rejoiced in it. In the normal everyday things and also in the big things. Something as simple as please help me find my car keys to Lord, please be with him through this surgery.
He has came through for me. As he always does. He never doubts me and always strengthens me when my trials come to hard to bear. I just lay it on him and he work. He loves me enough to do this for me. He loves me so much He made it possible for me to live life eternally. He sent His Son for me and you and everyone else. Is that not awesome or what?

I feel the love, I have learned to be honest and to trust Him. I feel so much more content to know that I am able to be honest to know that He knows my heart and he isn’t going to chastize me for that. He just lets me love him bread crumbs and all.